As much as I'd like to, I can't journal as often as I'd like to. My more prolific days a few months ago were back during a time when I was assigned to a project and didn't exactly have to give it my 100%, undivided attention. I'd think of something, develop it, and type it in on my Droid keypad, often with some interesting results.
Now, my work assignment is not only taking up 100% of my work day, but now I'm working 10 hour shifts to boot.
So, I was excited to know I was going to be away this past weekend working at a regatta in the Thousand Islands, and the folks who were supposed to come along to help backed out. Perfect! I'll do the stuff I needed to do during the day, and at night, I'll be alone with my thoughts at night 100 miles from home in a motel room in Alexandria Bay, NY...perfect! Hours of uninterrupted Deviant time! All I'd have to do is let my mind develop some ideas, and I'll work on them when I got settled, and.....
Nothing. Not a single topic, subject, short story...nothing...WTF. Understand, this guy is the one kid in classes all through school who HATED to write. But once I got started, look out, it just flowed. To be honest, I was just too tired from the week at work. Couple that with my interrupted sleep patterns at night, I was just too tired to even THINK straight. So...I just wound up watching online porn, err...EDUCATIONAL MATERIAL, until I couldn't hold my eyes open any more.
Not even a simple photo idea.
I've often said, I'm bothered by the fact that I just don't feel right looking at, and commenting on, other peoples' works without contributing something of my own. And to be honest, I'm kind of tired looking at what little I HAVE posted. And with my absolute favorite deviant, Raven, and her husband pulling the plug on their account before I could say "good bye", well, I think the fire went out. Or at least, got dampened down.
Could someone loan me a muse? Hey, I'm bi, so gender doesn't matter!! This is getting frustrating.
Of course, a good night's sleep would do wonders. I fall asleep at a normal time, then I'm up at 1 or 2, tossing and turning and thinking of random shit that doesn't matter, and letting my head fill up with confusion until I have to get up and go watch some TV for an hour to clear my head. At least I'm finally watching the most recent season of Deadliest Catch on the DVR. (4 more to go! Then I think I have a few NCIS episode stored.) To make matters worse, I have Seasonal Affected Disorder, so it's only going to get worse. Anyone around at that hour for light discussion?
Then, to top it all off, I have no good way to wrap this up. Oh, I had a great closing 3 days ago, but again...timing.